Have They Ever Beefed Up Hanzo
Ninjas and history all in one convenient package! After an incident as a kid that left both of her parents dead, Katagiri Kaede aspires to be a ninja with the power to protect others. Following a series of events, she is invited to enroll into a prestigious ninja academy and is all ready for her first day of school, except that things don't always go as planned and she ends up setting off a technique that charms a bunch of guys by accident in the process.
I could write a longer summary, or I could just say that the main plot is to listen to sweet nothings to beef up resistance against getting flustered around boys, because it is. There is plot, but there is also Plot, if you get what I mean.
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Developer: Otomate
Genre: Ninjas in love adventure game (an otome game, yeah, the site just has fun with describing it)
Official site: Here
Type: Commercial (Regular: 6264yen / Limited: 8424yen / Digital: 5452yen)
Platform: PS Vita
Language: Japanese
First up, backgrounds! Generally very vibrant and colourful with gentle lighting.
Game menus. They're separated into four main choices – new game, continue, settings, and gallery. I was pretty sad that there isn't any kind of chapter select, because the game can be a chore a to skip through especially when you're gunning for the alternate endings on character routes.
Route selections! The game has you pick routes right off the bat, so you at least will not have to suffer through a common route ten times over (that's reserved for when you replay the routes for the other endings).
Gameplay mechanics. Occasionally, Kaede and the partner of her choice will engage in a training session, where she picks topics (the person you like, gratitude) to talk with them over and they say embarrassing things to beef up her resistance to them (so that she gets flustered less easily and doesn't activate her charm technique by accident). What a time. This also functions as an affection-raising mechanic other than the usual dialogue choices, depending on how well the character responds to the topic being chosen.
The opening song! Lots of pretty effects.
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Thoughts on character routes in the order I played them in. The first game follows the same general story, so the routes are focused on the characters and the "cute" moments they have with Kaede. You know, the usual otome hijinks. There are some screencaps along with loose translations, but none of them directly spoil the content for the story.
The story is structured this way: introductory chapter → character route (seven chapters, chapter two and four are shared between all the characters sans Yukikage) → normal/happy ending (last chapter).
General story thoughts: Kaede is such a champ powering on through everything with "THIS IS HARD MODE, IT'S GOOD TRAINING". The resident Mean Girls (TM) as a plot device to move along the relationship between Kaede and the guy of her choice tire me out a lot. I mean, from one perspective, they're extremely clever girls who know how to get what they want (putting aside the fact that their only defining characteristic is I LIKE THIS GUY, EVERYONE ELSE IS BAD), but I don't really appreciate it being executed in the manner of single-minded bullying.
One other thing that popped out to me was the copious amount of profile views Kaede had in the CGs rather than proper frontal shots of her faces. This honestly stood out so much to me that I went back to check, and on average I see her full face about one to three times out of twelve CGs. Game, why.
Sarutobi Sasuke (CV: Terashima Takuma) – Summed up as a tsundere idiot ninja, courtesy of the game's opening. The classic "i-it's not like I cared or anything, idiot" kind of guy. I thought it was hilarious how he would immediately say he didn't mean it after saying something that might hint at him having an actual sense of empathy, but it got really tiring as the route went on. "JUST SO YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING I'M SAYING IS BECAUSE OF YOUR CHARM TECHNIQUE." Yes, Sasuke, you don't have to repeat yourself every chapter.
Sasuke: That wasn't me!! That wasn't me at all!!! Why did I want to touch you!? Aaaaarrgh!!
Kaede: Y, yes. I understand that it wasn't you, so don't worry about it!!
It was funny how Kaede does not get any very obvious hints that he might actually like her and his reaction to her being all "don't worry, I won't get the wrong idea" after he goes on another "I DIDN'T MEAN IT" SPIEL is great. "YEAH, I TOTALLY KNEW THAT, HAHA…damn it." Kaede is so hardcore. The very moment she finds out her blood can act as a counter to her charm technique she cuts herself with no hesitation and just shoves the cut with blood on it to his lips the next time it activates. The funniest thing about this route was discovering the vampire-esque bloodsucking shenanigans except that instead of biting, they conveniently have a technique where you can extract blood from a body (via your mouth). Just business as usual.
Kirigakure Kuroudo (CV: Sakurai Takahiro) – Cool ninja living in poverty. I have so many questions about the academy's teachers, namely being whether they are completely ignorant to the hostility Kaede gets when she's still getting used to the school. I guess noticing is only a privilege meant for whoever Kaede's partner is at the moment, so they can gallantly step in like a shining beacon.
Kaede: No matter what, I don't want to give up my dreams of being a ninja. / Kuroudo: …This is the first time I thought another person was beautiful. You really are an amazing person.
Kaede: Huh!? Did I activate my charm technique by accident!? / Kuroudo: ………
Kuroudo gets a better opinion from me because him in charmed mode is basically Kaede Respecting Hours and doesn't brush it off as rudely as Sasuke does, but moves forward like nothing happened so it doesn't feel as awkward and unnecessarily dragged out (featuring the top hits such as "I'M SORRY", "I didn't mean it", "I know" ad infinitum that I was almost ready to reach in and strangle Sasuke myself by the end).
I really like Kuroudo's interactions with Kaede because it feels like they're on similar wavelengths, both being poor kids who are very earnestly doing their best in school. They also have this iconic interaction in the game with Kuroudo going "LET ME PROTECT YOU", and Kaede replying to that with "NO? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A CAPABLE NINJA THAT WAY".
Yuuri Kamakiyo (CV: Ono Yuuki) – A serious ninja who's a closet pervert. I wasn't very fond of how Kaede feels like she's being bogged down by the teachers as well when she's a transfer student trying to gain her footing when she's unfamiliar with basic techniques, but Kaede's undying optimism in Getting Things Done at least helped me not feel as annoyed about it. It also helps that Kamakiyo and Kaede get off on more even footing (Kamakiyo being open to helping Kaede when she needs it, also as the class representative and not being unnecessarily frosty). I like that I can get a sense of some mutual respect going each other's way.
Kaede: Was there a reason you wanted me to go with you? / Kamakiyo: W-well…
Kaede: Oh! I guess that us acting as lovers is another form of training, right? / Kamakiyo: Y…yes!! That's exactly it!!
Every route has a gratuitous wound-licking scene, and I thought Kamakiyo's was particularly hilarious because they do give him a more valid reason to do so (sucking out poison) while the other boys are like WOW IS THAT BLOOD IN YOUR WOUND, TIME TO LICK IT CLEAN LIKE MY PRIMAL CALLING IS TELLING ME TO. At this point, I've accepted that this is an Otome (TM) thing to happen, but I keep thinking about all the bacteria.
Garaiya (CV: Shimono Hiro) – Dark lord of Lucifer something something. Garaiya is very amusing in how he will say things like WILL YOU COME TO MY CHAMBER OF DARKNESS when he really means would you like to come to my room (please come to my room I want friends). I did zone out at times when he just kept going on and on, though…I deeply feel Kaede's "???" to his monologues.
Kaede: (…Huh? I have no idea what he's saying at all!)
It got especially bad for me in the chapter where Kaede reads Garaiya's letter and it is definitely meant to be heartfelt and all that jazz (such as Garaiya sincerely being grateful to Kaede for being his friend) but I was dying a little on the inside thinking "WHEN WILL THEY BE DONE". Otome games made me lose all my empathy.
Anayama Daisuke (CV: Suzuki Tatsuhisa) – The token flirt. I thought it was hilarious how he has a Super Serious Mode when being charmed that he flatly denies is him, and Kaede's reaction is all "yeah, that's true, you usually aren't that serious". I had a pretty terrible opinion of him at first because I'm always not fond of characters opting for a nickname to call the protagonist (HEY KITTEN) especially when not on close terms (much like Sasuke's HEY MEROMERO ONNA, and even more so when Kaede is actually addressing them with the proper respect and honorifics). SHE HAS A PERFECTLY FUNCTIONAL NAME. USE IT.
Kaede: (I just witnessed Anayama-senpai being an amazing doctor! …Wait, he is supposed to be one!!)
Even funnier was Kaede being extremely shocked when Daisuke is actually a competent doctor, even though that should be a given seeing that he's an infirmary staff. This route gave me a lot of Sano vibes from Hakuouki in that there is a very gratuitous scene of Kaede and Daisuke getting it on before they fight the final boss, also with another hilarious dialogue of Daisuke being all "I DRUGGED YOUR FOOD, WHY ARE YOU HERE". Thanks for admitting it, I guess.
Sanada Yukikage (CV: Toriumi Kousuke) – A teacher of the academy who appears to have some sort of attachment to Kaede. (Honestly, if you've played through the introduction to the game, it's less than subtle about it, which makes me wonder how much of a spoiler it's supposed to be, especially with how noticeable Toriumi Kousuke's voice is.) The prime role model of how teachers shouldn't be. Every time Yukikage talks I just think "yeah, cool, now step ten metres away from Kaede, thanks".
This was not really a route I got into because the very moment they brought up the whole "I'm a teacher, you're a student, having some distance is normal" conflict I was pretty much "yeah, that is how it should be, can the route end right here". My feelings on Yukikage are kind of similar to how I feel about Shiki in Period: Cube (who hilariously shares the same CV), except with slightly less vitriol. I ALWAYS DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK OF THE ADULT CHARACTER WHO FIRST CHANCED UPON THE PROTAGONIST WHEN THEY WERE FIRST A KID. I think it's probably something to reinforce the whole ~fated meeting~ set-up, but it tends to add a really weird dynamic to the relationship for me, even if they leave it as-is then and only pursue a relationship when they're both adults.
I have a better opinion of Sasuke in this route, and I laughed a lot when he jumps in to save Kaede from trouble with the line "sorry for not being the guy you want to meet right now". No, Sasuke, by all means, please cut in. I really like this route for the whole POWER OF FRIENDSHIP resolution but I'm also all…why is this the only route I get to see it. There was a really long monologue at the ending right before the credits with Yukikage going on about his FEELINGS, and I am so glad to finally be free of that. I never have to voluntarily play this route again. GO BACK TO TEACHER SCHOOL AND LEARN HOW TO PROPERLY AND MEANINGFULLY INTERACT WITH YOUR STUDENTS.
Harem – Why choose one boy when you can have all of them. This route is honestly pretty dull to me because it touches on all the same plot beats the other character routes go through, so there was a lot of exhaustion on my end in thinking "HERE WE GO AGAIN". On the bright side, everyone becomes friends and like each other without delving too much into romantic stuff, the bullies shape up, so that's something.
Sasuke: That's enough, Sanada!!
Kamakiyo: H-h-h-how completely shameless!!! This is improper conduct for a teacher!!!
Kuroudo: How childish…!!
This is a very good route for the one scene where all the boys are attempting to (jokingly) kill Yukikage. THANKS, THAT IS THE ONLY THING I WANT TO SEE OUT OF THE GAME. They also introduced a new BGM for Kaede's charm technique that sounds like a funky sax solo which completely incapacitated my ability to take any of those scenes seriously (or even less than I already did), but it was also hilarious, so it's not a complete loss.
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Moving on to the second game, which…does not exactly follow the same general story with romantic focus and has more "unique" developments with each route. Wow! Plot!
The story is structured this way: introductory chapters (chapter one and two) → character route (chapters three to eight, some shared scenes between routes scattered in-between) → normal/happy ending (ninth chapter).
General story thoughts: I like that the game has the bullies from the first game becoming Kaede's friends, because I don't think my eyes would survive the amount of eye-rolling I would have to do every time they show up otherwise. Please, no more jealous fangirls where they don't exist outside of HOW DARE YOU COME CLOSE TO MY BELOVED, I will take literally any other kind of conflict.
Each route also had a costume cafe where my only thought is who allowed Garaiya to design clothes. They are spectacularly awful and I appreciate them for that, such as how Daisuke and Kuroudo don't know how to button up shirts and Hidetora dressed as a gangster boss for some reason. Guess they want to let their chests breathe. Even Hanzo plays along, though I guess he'd probably prefer stabbing someone rather than doing it.
Also, a family can be two brothers and his shadow clone.
Kirigakure Tadahito (CV: Eguchi Takuya) – Kuroudo's younger brother. Full of energy and generally upbeat. It was pretty hilarious how Kaede breaks the fourth wall and introduces him to the player, assuming you haven't played or met him in the first game. This was kind of a funny route to get on knowing that Kuroudo still has Feelings for Kaede, but I did like that the game had Kuroudo loving Kaede and his brother enough to support both of them in their teamwork, despite his own conflict about the situation. I love siblings.
Still, there is a lot of angst between Kuroudo and Tadahito over Kaede (and Tadahito's own feelings of inferiority), and parts where Kuroudo reads like a Nice Guy with "YOU UNDERSTAND TADAHITO'S FEELINGS BUT WHY NOT MINE". I guess it gives his character more dimension in a way with very real and ugly feelings (he backs off and apologises after realising his actions), though it does kind of corrupt the image I have of him from the first game, heh. Especially the normal ending. What the hell was the normal ending for this route. The normal endings for Ninkoi are usually "I love you…but we will never or rarely see each other again", and this one was Kuroudo jumping in after Tadahito steps back going HEY, SO HOW ABOUT MARRYING ME. Cool it, boy.
Ukita Yoshiie (CV: Kaji Yuuki) – How to raise a baby, the route. A ninja who would rather sleep for days, which is a very relatable trait. My only interest in Ukita is the fact that he eats grass. I never thought I would ever get an otome game where a character is a confirmed grass-eater, but anyway, if you ever wanted a grass-eater to bond with, Ninkoi is the game for you!
Ukita: Rice is delicious. It's completely different from grass. / Kaede: …Um? What is that supposed to mean?
Ukita: When I lie down, I see grass in front of me. I get hungry, so — / Kaede: You eat it!?
This route has Kaede pushing around Ukita in his baby pram, by which I mean a cart, because he won't move on his own otherwise. Later on in the route where he develops more of a will to live, everyone else is shocked when they see him actually standing on two legs. An iconic exchange:
- Kaede: Ukita stood up by himself! That's incredible!
- Garaiya: That's what surprises you!? No matter how you look at it, isn't there something wrong with this situation!?
Sasuke: I'm a little worried about Ukita, but let's work hard together, I guess!
Female student: Hold up, jellyfish!! Are you completely incapable of empathy!?
A sample of everyone demonstrating their undying faith in Ukita's character. I felt that Ukita's route suffered from some really weird mood whiplash particularly when it comes to the charm scenes – you have a scene where Kaede and Ukita are yelling at each other about Strong Opinions, Ukita suddenly bringing up that they are kind of close to each other, Kaede getting embarrassed about it and activating her technique by accident, and after that it's back to discussing opinions. I guess they have a quota to fill when it comes to those scenes, but how it's paced can really take you out of it. It's okay, game, you can have a tender or serious moment without it.
It's kind of funny when thinking about Kaede's actions in the first game – she cuts herself with no hesitation and gives the guys her blood immediately after she realises she set off her charm technique, but in here she's all WELL, GUESS I'LL DIE, or rather put up with it. I guess there wouldn't be the charm scenes otherwise (which is probably also a selling point of Ninkoi) – gotta service the players and all that.
My interest in this route peaked at the ending where Hanzo seemed very thrilled at the chance to kill people. I'm always up for stabbing, though it did catch me somewhat by surprise given how it didn't feel like it matched the general tone of Ninkoi.
Toyotomi Hidetora (CV: Sugita Tomokazu) – The next shogun who enrolls into the school precisely because he can. Grapples with concepts such as the idea of buying your own drinks and washing your own cups, which made me laugh in that it felt like Kaede had moved on from babysitting Ukita to babysitting Hidetora. I thought it was pretty heartwarming that Kaede doesn't mock Hidetora or seem surprised when he admits to knowing nothing about ninja tactics, and her immediate reaction is "cool, do you want me to help you as you learn". Truly a role model.
Kaede is so cool in this route I was nodding every time Hidetora was all "YOU ARE DAZZLING AND INCREDIBLE". Hidetora gets shot at and she immediately gets to removing his poison without any of the "THIS IS EMBARRASSING" preamble, and I was like "yes, I understand" when he is also swooning over her and confessing his feelings. I like how they mutually call each other idiots. Also has an iconic scene near the ending where Hidetora is conflicted over what he should do and Kaede just butts in with, NOPE, SCREW THIS, YOU ARE GONNA BE WITH ME AND WE WILL BE HAPPY TOGETHER. Hell yeah.
Hattori Hanzo (CV: Ishikawa Kaito) – Gives off this image of being Standoffish and Unreachable but actually has the heart of a delicate, gentle leaf. I know I had the time of my life going through this route for the charm scenes where he sounds like he's about to cry with every single voiced line. I was very overjoyed with his crying that it overrode all my feelings about the funky sax solo BGM.
Hanzo: Forget. About. It.
Hanzo: …your reply? / Kaede: I-I understand!! I saw nothing!!
This route reads like a comedy out of a sitcom, where Hanzo trains with Kaede which usually end up in not-so-subtle attempts at ending her life but keeps getting foiled by all her other classmates. Even funnier is Kaede being all "SEE, THERE IS NO WAY HE WOULD KILL ME" and "I think you are a good person". I guess it is probably not as funny when she reflects on it after he dumps her in his personal jail, but I also had fun imagining Kaede angrily eating the food he gives her as she fumes over him. Kaede is also very hardcore here – she actually attempts to use her blood to control his will, and while the scene was short-lived and didn't amount to much, that was still pretty cool.
Liveblog highlights from this route:
- (hanzo upon receiving a single scrap of empathy) HOLY SHIT?
- WHY ARE OTOME DUDES SO EMOTIONALLY STUNTED?
- MOST ICONIC ROUTE BECAUSE HE'S LIKE…I COULDN'T KILL YOU…I LOST TO THE POWER OF WUV…
- yukikage literally reading out a mile long list of Everything Hanzo Has Done Wrong, Ever and follows it up with CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE BEEN PARDONED FROM ALL OF THEM! ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF? YOU'RE A FREE MAN NOW
- KAEDE: I'LL TELL YOU THE REASON I FORGIVE YOU. IT'S BECAUSE I LIKE YOU
- YEAH YOU KIDNAPPED ME AND W/E BUT YOU KNOW, WUV
Peak comedy. I still can't get over the blatant "I FORGIVE YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU" line. I MEAN, THAT IS USUALLY AN UNDERLYING MESSAGE IN MANY STORIES, BUT I'M NOT USED TO THEM BEING SO EXPLICIT. His bad end is great for the part where Kaede stabs Yukikage. Honestly, when I went back to replay the route for the good and normal ends and Yukikage barges in, my first thought was "hm, can we go back to the ending where you get stabbed". I literally clicked my way through the normal ending because I really was not up for entertaining another story branch with Yukikage. Go back to your own route.
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In general, I had fun! It's not very heavy on plot, and is centered much more on the characters and their relationships. I admit that it is tiring for me to get through at times when they revisit certain plot beats to facilitate the moving along of the story, because at heart, Ninkoi is very definitely more focused on cute romance and fluff. It felt very liberating when I could skip read the common route chapters or scenes and move on to something new.
I'm not very fond of the bullies in the first game – they're mostly there to act as an early source of conflict and a way to facilitate the guy stepping in for Kaede as her ~knight in shining armour~. It mostly leaves a bad taste for me because their motivations are pretty shallow at best (they barely exist as characters on their own other than functioning as some form of a hate sink), and the kicker is that literally every other female classmate Kaede has gets in on it. I'm glad the second game at least does away with that.
I do tend to prefer otome games that are more story-based, but I did enjoy the interactions Ninkoi had, and what story it did have was pretty serviceable. Chilling out time with ninjas, the game. Nothing overly complicated and gets to the point, since the story itself isn't the actual focus. It is pretty hilarious to see all the characters stumbling and fantastically failing at FEELINGS, while Kaede is just "cool, alright" and charging head-on towards her dream of being a proficient ninja. You go, girl, I'm rooting for you.
Source: https://parfairy.wordpress.com/2018/11/09/game-review-shinobi-koi-utsutsu-setsugekka-koi-emaki/
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